Fresh Perspective

There's a lot about my thirties that I regret, and regret deeply. I could tell you that I've made peace with that, but really I haven't. At the end of 2007 I had been married for about five months, I'd quit full-time ministry and we'd moved to Cape Town. Three major life changes all at once. Not something I would recommend. I had sponsors, so there wasn't money pressure. I had a lot of different options, and that was part of the problem for me. All these different possibilities, and choosing one of them felt dangerous, felt hard. Because if I choose one path, I'm letting go of all the others. So I'd think about pursuing one thing and say no, wait, wait, wait. And then I'd pursue them all at once, all a little bit. What I've done instead, I think, helped me more than just making peace with it. Because sometimes making peace with something in the past means you don't really get what you are supposed to get from it. You're not learning anything, you just accept it. Accept the regret, accept that you've wasted time, accept that you've wasted potential. Regret is inevitable. Regrets are painful. And that pain can either trap us or teach us. It's a very expensive teacher, regret, because you pay in time and you pay in potential. There's no bursary for this. You pay the full tuition fee. We all pay in some way. But you can choose how you want to pay, where you are now. Instead of paying with regret, we pay with effort, we pay with failure, we pay with embarrassment. My big lesson looking back: make a strong choice and execute. In this episode I take you through what I call passing the class. Extract the lesson. Integrate it, allow it to change your world view. And then invest it into your next chapter, so that the school fees you paid in lost time and lost potential now get invested and can compound. If you just make peace with something, that doesn't happen. If there's a time in your life that you regret, whatever it is, this one is for you. Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1WDGperNKU The RUT Diagnostic takes three minutes and tells you which groove you are stuck in right now, routine, uncertainty or trance: https://clarityquest.francoisesterhuizen.com/rut/ Work with me: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/work-with-me Fresh Perspective, my weekly newsletter: https://francoisesterhuizen.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=097ed8fb3c6e3c943817d0d80&id=7a7438d8f4 My website: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com

Nothing is wrong and you still feel stuck. Career fine, bills paid, and still restless. Why do I feel stuck when nothing is wrong? I know what to do and I'm still not doing it. Those two questions tend to arrive together, and they arrive with guilt, because you have a pretty good life and you are supposed to be grateful for it. You are, unfortunately, very normal. In this episode I show you the two engines that move people, pain and possibility, and why a pretty good life switches both of them off. Then the cruise control problem: how you can be moving every single day, losing momentum in the one direction that matters, and never notice it, because there is nothing bad to point at. We look at how gratitude turns into a hiding place. And I give you the RUT, the three grooves that a life on cruise control wears into your weeks: routine, uncertainty and trance. You leave with one sentence to finish and one hour of steering to do this week. The RUT Diagnostic takes three minutes and tells you which of those three grooves runs deepest for you: https://clarityquest.francoisesterhuizen.com/rut/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJeRkyYV2tA Work with me: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/work-with-me Fresh Perspective, my weekly newsletter: https://francoisesterhuizen.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=097ed8fb3c6e3c943817d0d80&id=7a7438d8f4 My website: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com

You will get stuck again. Not maybe, guaranteed. The final episode of the Getting Unstuck series is about what to do when it happens, because coming back is the skill: the observer and the giver of meaning, structure as your friend, and the four step comeback.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWQNvOCifPQ
Free: see where and how you are stuck with the RUT Diagnostic: https://clarityquest.francoisesterhuizen.com/rut/
The whole series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYr4VXEPUU5o

Two options in front of you, months at the crossroads, and every person you ask leaves you exactly where you were. In this fourth episode of the Getting Unstuck series: what you are actually collecting when you ask around (confirmation, not information), the two questions that work like a brake you are pressing yourself, the guarantee hiding inside the word right, why the first hard part convinces you that you chose wrong, and the ten-year question that lets you choose today, standing right where you are.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln10DW4kbko
The Ten-Year Question card (free): https://resources.francoisesterhuizen.com/ten-year-question/
All free tools: https://resources.francoisesterhuizen.com/

Part one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdZGSQr9kBE
Part two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5ihPiQ_QOI
Part three: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKLdHsbgslY

Work with me: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com/work-with-me
Fresh Perspective, my weekly newsletter: https://francoisesterhuizen.us5.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=097ed8fb3c6e3c943817d0d80&id=7a7438d8f4
My website: https://www.francoisesterhuizen.com

You sit down to start, and all of it arrives at once. The thing is not too big. You are lifting all of it at the same time. In this third episode of the Getting Unstuck series: what overwhelm actually is (the carrying, not the task), the next visible move, the two-minute test, and the deciding-once principle that makes starting almost automatic.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKLdHsbgslY
The Headlights System card (free): https://resources.francoisesterhuizen.com/headlights-system/
All free tools: https://resources.francoisesterhuizen.com/

Part one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdZGSQr9kBE
Part two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5ihPiQ_QOI

You do not procrastinate on everything. You procrastinate selectively, and the more something matters, the harder it gets to start. In this second episode of the Getting Unstuck series: what you are actually managing when you procrastinate (it is not time), why caring turns a task into a test, the trade behind every snooze, and four steps to catch it happening. Free Pattern Breaker workbook: https://resources.francoisesterhuizen.com/procrastination-pattern-breaker/ Watch the video version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5ihPiQ_QOI

Have you ever known exactly what you should do, and still not done it?

That is not laziness. It is a loop: discomfort, avoidance, relief, cost. In this first episode of the Getting Unstuck series I walk through the loop, the five fuels that drive it, how to map one of your own in five honest sentences, and the small interruption that starts rebuilding self-trust.

The free Unstuck Loop Map: resources.francoisesterhuizen.com/unstuck-loop-map

Watch this episode on YouTube: You Are Not Lazy. You Are in a Loop.

All resources: resources.francoisesterhuizen.com

n this episode, I explore why shutting down and blowing up are often not opposites, but two different ways of avoiding the deeper emotion underneath. Using the image of a firebreak, I unpack how emotional maturity is not about suppressing what I feel or unleashing it on everyone around me, but learning to stay with what I feel without becoming overwhelmed by it.

I talk about numbing, anger, emotional flooding, old childhood patterns, nervous system responses, repair in relationships, and the hope that healing is still possible at any age. The goal is not to become less emotional, but to become less afraid of emotion, so I can respond with more honesty, connection, and choice.

To contact me go to francoisesterhuizen.com

In this episode of Fresh Perspective, we explore a powerful shift in how we handle life’s challenges: are you reacting like a thermometer, or responding like a thermostat? When the world heats up or cools down, do you let it decide your mood and actions, or do you set your own tone from within?

Through simple language and real-life examples, Francois breaks down the four things you can always control – your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and actions – and shows you how to practise this shift gently in everyday moments. This is a grounded, reflective episode designed to help you slow down, recalibrate, and lead your life from the inside out.

If you’re ready to stop being pulled around by your environment and start choosing your mindset with intention, this one is for you.

getclarity.co.za

To work with me personally please visit getclarity.co.za

In this episode of Fresh Perspective, Francois explores one of the most common and quietest struggles many of us face: being relentlessly hard on ourselves. Beneath the surface of high standards and self-discipline often lies fear, fear of failure, rejection, or not being enough. Francois unpacks how the inner judge masquerades as responsibility but is really emotional avoidance in disguise.

Drawing from his coaching work and psychology research, he guides listeners through understanding the difference between the Judge and the Coach within, one condemns, the other instructs. You will learn how to shift from self-punishment to self-leadership, how to identify the beliefs that keep your worth conditional, and how to respond to mistakes with clarity rather than cruelty.

Through the story of kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold, this episode offers a reminder that our cracks do not disqualify us; they reveal where the light gets in.

If you have ever felt trapped by your own high expectations or inner criticism, this conversation will help you lay down the whip and pick up the tools of awareness, compassion, and self-trust.